Sometimes people don’t understand that having a breast cancer diagnosis isn’t just something like a simple statement to be shared. There are even others that might call you “selfish” for keeping it a secret. Before anything else, this is now a perfect time to remind yourself that your decision on when to tell anyone is completely up to you.
This guide will give you perspectives from both sides of whether you should keep it secret or announce it.
Facing a breast cancer diagnosis is a deeply personal experience, and deciding whether to share it with others—or keep it private—can feel overwhelming. There’s no right or wrong answer; the choice is entirely yours. Understanding the reasons behind your decision and considering the impact on your well-being can help you navigate this sensitive question.
What Do Experts Say About Keeping Breast Cancer Private?
Deciding whether to share a breast cancer diagnosis or keep it private is deeply personal. Organizations like the American Cancer Society (ACS) emphasize that while keeping medical records organized and accessible is vital for treatment coordination, the choice to disclose the diagnosis to others is entirely up to the individual.
Similarly, Breastcancer.org highlights the emotional challenges that come with a diagnosis, encouraging patients to seek support, whether through loved ones or anonymous online groups, to process their feelings. The Mayo Clinic stresses that sharing one’s diagnosis can open doors to emotional and practical support, enhancing quality of life during and after treatment. Ultimately, experts recognize that the decision depends on personal comfort, but they emphasize the benefits of sharing with trusted individuals to foster connection and access needed resources.
1. Why You Might Consider Keeping It Private
Many women choose to keep their breast cancer diagnosis a secret for personal, emotional, or practical reasons. You might worry about being treated differently, fear becoming a source of pity, or feel a need to maintain a sense of normalcy in your life. Others may prefer to process their diagnosis and treatment privately, without unsolicited advice or opinions. You’ll be surprised just how many women who are actually breast cancer survivors and have silently fought their battle in secret.
2. Is It Okay to Stay Silent?
Yes, it is entirely okay. Your journey is your own, and you have the right to decide who knows about your diagnosis. Some women find solace in maintaining their privacy, as it allows them to focus on healing without external pressures. However, keeping your diagnosis a secret may also bring challenges, such as feeling isolated or managing your treatment schedule without support.
3. Balancing Privacy and Support
If you choose not to disclose your diagnosis to everyone, consider confiding in a small circle of trusted individuals. Having a support system, even if it’s just one or two people, can provide emotional relief and practical help when needed. For those who prefer anonymity, online breast cancer support groups can offer a safe space to share your feelings and gain encouragement from others navigating similar journeys.
4. How Keeping It Private Can Affect Mental Health
Maintaining silence about your diagnosis can sometimes take an emotional toll. Suppressing feelings of fear, sadness, or frustration might leave you feeling overwhelmed. It’s essential to monitor your mental health and seek outlets for expression that may still maintain your privacy outside your usual circles, whether through journaling, therapy, or a supportive community.
Post-Mastectomy Mental Health: Reclaiming Yourself After Breast Cancer Treatment offers valuable insights on prioritizing mental health and rediscovering your identity after diagnosis or a mastectomy.
5. When to Consider Sharing
If your diagnosis begins to interfere with your daily life—such as needing time off work, managing physical changes, or attending treatments—sharing your situation with close family, friends, or colleagues may help alleviate stress. Being honest about your needs can open the door to practical and emotional support.
It’s also helpful to know that there are laws in the United States that protect you should you need to disclose your diagnosis to your employer.
Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA):
Under the ADA, employers must keep all medical information obtained from employees confidential, whether it’s through health questionnaires, medical examinations, or other means. This includes protecting the privacy of employees with a breast cancer diagnosis.
6. Deciding What Feels Right
Ultimately, the decision to keep your breast cancer a secret—or to share—should reflect what feels right for you. Some women find peace in staying private, while others feel liberated by opening up. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and your feelings about disclosure may evolve over time.
7. Your Journey, Your Rules
Whether you decide to share your diagnosis or keep it private, remember that this is your journey, and only you can determine what works best for your well-being. Respect your instincts, surround yourself with supportive resources, and focus on what helps you feel empowered.
Do not let guilt determine your choices. You are much more than what people make you feel. You have the power to choose.